The Nasty Pregnancy Symptoms No One Talks About (But We Absolutely Should)

When you first find out you're pregnant, you expect some of the classic symptoms—morning sickness, sore boobs, cravings. Maybe even a little swelling or fatigue. But no one—and I mean no one—prepares you for the nasty, weird, borderline humiliating things that happen to your body while you're growing a tiny human.

I’m talking about things like uncontrollable gas, intense body odor, and the Sahara-level dryness that no lube on Earth can fix. Let’s get into it, shall we?

1. Gas That Just… Happens

Listen. I was never the “let one slip” kind of girl. I was raised to say "excuse me" and hold it in like a lady. But during pregnancy? Game over.

I would take a step—just one—and a little toot would squeak out. Then another step… another toot. And let me be clear: there was no stopping it. It didn’t even matter if I clenched. My pregnant body had decided it was going to release air every time I walked, and I was just along for the ride.

At first, I was horrified. I tried to hide it from my husband. I’d pause mid-stride, act like I was thinking deeply, or shuffle instead of walk. Eventually, I just said, “Hey babe, please don’t acknowledge what’s happening right now. I’m already humiliated enough.”

And you know what? After a while, I stopped caring. (Okay—maybe I just gave up, but still.) The funny part? The very moment I gave birth, the gas disappeared. Just like that.But guess who became the gassy one then? Yep—my newborn. Full circle, baby.

2. That Pungent Pregnancy BO Nobody Warns You About

So there I was, newly pregnant, feeling like a glowing goddess. I wanted to be mindful of what I was putting on my body, so I ditched my trusty aluminum-filled deodorant for something “clean.” I tried every natural deodorant under the sun. Clay, charcoal, magnesium, baking soda… you name it.

And guess what?

I stank. BAD. It was like my armpits were plotting against me.

Even right after a shower, even after layering the natural stuff on like frosting—it didn’t matter. The smell just pushed through. I felt so self-conscious, especially at work. I'd be mid-conversation wondering, “Can they smell me?”

Finally, after months of trial and error (and probably traumatizing a few noses), I found something that actually worked: crystal deodorant. It’s literally a salt-based mineral stick that creates a barrier over your skin and prevents the bacteria that cause odor from growing. Not just masking the smell—stopping it.

And here’s a wild fact:According to research, pregnant and breastfeeding bodies produce more body odor as a biological way for your baby to recognize you and find your milk.

“Mothers’ body odor changes in pregnancy and lactation to help newborns recognize them and locate the breast.”(Source: Journal of Human Lactation, 2013; also supported by studies in maternal-infant olfactory bonding.)

So yeah. Your pits are funky on purpose. You’re basically nature’s GPS. Who knew?

3. The Sahara Situation Down There

Let’s talk about the vajayjay.

Early pregnancy? She was a slip and slide. I’m talking extra slick. My husband even mentioned, “It feels different… like I can’t feel as much?” And I was like, “Sir, just enjoy the ride.”

But somewhere between month two and four, all that moisture disappeared. I mean it was dryer than the Sahara desert. Dryer than that rotisserie chicken you forgot in the oven. Dryer than a dad joke at a PTA meeting. Just dry.

And it wasn’t just “needs a little lube” dry. It was “lube makes it worse” dry.We tried all the top-rated lubes, coconut oil, vitamin E oil… nothing helped. Instead, sex became so uncomfortable that it literally left friction injuries. I mean… how do you even explain that to your OB?

Eventually, we just… stopped trying. It hurt, it wasn’t fun, and honestly, we were both a little traumatized.

Toward the third trimester, some of that natural moisture came back, but by then I was huge, uncomfortable, and deeply aware that our daughter had front-row seats to the action.So, we waited.

Thankfully, once I healed postpartum, everything went back to normal. The dryness vanished. The friction was gone. And the fear? Well, that took a little longer to recover from.

You Are Not Alone, Mama

I share all of this because these things aren’t talked about enough.Gas, body odor, vaginal dryness… they’re not glamorous. They’re not cute. But they are real, and they can feel so isolating—especially when you're already flooded with hormones and emotions.

If you're experiencing any of this, please know you’re not gross, you’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. You are literally growing a human.It doesn’t get more powerful than that.

So yes, even with gas you can’t control, BO that could peel paint, and a desert between your legs—you are a star. ✨You are a warrior. You are magic. And one day, you’ll look back and laugh. (Even if you’re still clutching your crystal deodorant like a lifeline.)

Let’s normalize the messy parts of motherhood, shall we?

Have any gross or funny pregnancy symptoms no one warned you about? I want to hear them! Drop them in the comments or DM me on Instagram—we're in this together, mama.