The Beginning of Goodbye: My Breastfeeding Weaning Journey

It's been roughly 14 months since I began this breastfeeding journey and to be honest, I never thought I'd make it this far. When I look at my daughter I feel a sense of pride I can't explain, I grew her. I nurtured her. My breasts have been her source of food, comfort, and connection. I look at my breasts and feel amazed and a resounding sense of pride. I grew her. With every meal I ate, every tear I cried, every nap, every wince, and every prayer.

And now… we’re starting to wean. Just typing those words brings a lump to my throat. I miss proper ownership of my breasts and nipples. I'm not a fan of being summoned at all times with the milk sign she learned in baby sign language. Her teeth scare me. She's bitten me on more than one occasion. Furthermore, I'm tired. I'm tired of whipping a nipple out on demand and I'm tired of feeling like the life force has been sucked out of me after she nurses.

Ahh! I love being her number one. I love being needed, and I know she'll never again want or need me the way she does now. I've done my absolute best to soak all of this up, but time just goes by so fast!

So it turns out there's some science behind the way I have been feeling. When we breastfeed, our bodies release oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone.” It’s the same hormone released during childbirth and skin-to-skin contact, and it plays a huge role in bonding. Research shows oxytocin helps reduce stress and promotes a sense of calm and emotional attachment between mother and baby. No wonder this bond feels so deep—it is.

So why start weaning now? Because even the most beautiful chapters have to end sometime. She's developmentally ready for more independence and I need put more time and energy into my own self care so I can be the best mom possible for her. It's time for me to start finding me again.

But oh, the emotions! I feel guilty for wanting to stop. I feel anxious that I’m going to miss those sleepy, milky cuddles. I feel proud of how far we’ve come. I feel everything, all at once. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, breastfeeding is recommended for at least the first year, and I’m proud that we made it to this milestone. Still, no amount of milestone badges prepares you for the emotional whiplash of letting go.

One thing I noticed when we began the breastfeeding journey was that nursing wouldn't just put her to sleep, it helped me sleep too! I've started the weaning process by reclaiming my nights (or so I thought). My husband is on bedtime and overnight duty now, which means mommy is not available to nurse. My daughter, Lily, seems to be doing pretty good. She's sleeping through the night and she gets to sleep with my husband just fine without nursing. I on the other hand, haven't had a decent night's sleep since this began. I'm 99% sure that's an emotional thing, but I'm exhausted and I hope I get over it soon.

My Weaning Plan Outlined:

1. Eliminate Nighttime Nursing

2. Eliminate Afternoon Nap Nursing

3. Eliminate Evening Nursing

4. Eliminate Early Morning Nursing

The goal is to eliminate all nursing sessions over 1-2 months to avoid engorgement and pain in my breasts. Honestly, it's extremely difficult not to just give her a boob if she's crying or uncomfortable, and I don't quite have a solution for that yet, but I'll do my best and share what works or doesn't work in my weaning update blog post later.

For now, I will forever cherish the quiet moments we were snuggled up, eyes locked, her tiny hands resting on my chest or playing with my face. The moments when she was terrified, tired, or hungry, and I could instantly provide her the comfort she needed. I won't necessarily miss the raw pink nipples, engorgement, leaking, or the more painful latches... but I would do this all again in a heartbeat.

Weaning is just the beginning of a new chapter for us. I know our bond doesn’t disappear with breastfeeding—it just evolves. We’ll still snuggle, I’ll still be her comfort, and we’ll still share our quiet, sacred moments. But I’m also ready for a little freedom, a few real bras, and the chance to experience our relationship without the constant physical tether. We’re weaning, yes—but we’re also growing. (This is me doing my best to stay positive.) I'll let you know how I'm feeling in a few weeks.