How to Set Boundaries With Family While You're Pregnant (Without Starting World War III)

So you’re growing a whole human inside you, you go mama! Now let me guess, your emotions are doing Cirque du Soleil tricks, your back feels like a gorilla has been dancing on it all day, your head hurts, you're gassy, hungry all the time, trying your best to make sure you're doing everything right, and meanwhile, someone is offering “advice” you didn’t ask for. Sound familiar? Pregnancy brings out the best in many people… and the boundary-pushers in others. Whether it’s unsolicited belly rubs, unfiltered commentary on baby names, or someone trying to RSVP to your delivery room, now is the time to get real comfortable with the word “no.”

The tricky part? Setting boundaries with family can feel like defusing a bomb with oven mitts. But here’s the truth: protecting your peace is part of protecting your baby. It’s okay to say, “Thanks, but we’re doing it our way,” or “We’re keeping the gender private for now,” or even, “We’re not accepting visitors until we’re settled.” It doesn’t make you rude—it makes you clear. And clarity, my friend, is a form of kindness. People may not love your boundary in the moment, but if they love you, they will respect it. On the other hand, if they don't respect your boundary, you've just learned a very important lesson about that relationship, and if they won't respect the boundary while you're pregnant, don't expect much to change after the baby is born. You'll have to be masterfully strategic and mindful when managing that relationship moving forward to protect it, and your own peace.

Those closest to me know me well enough to know that when I commit to a decision, very little can sway me from it, and they respect that. For everyone else, what worked best for me was using “we” language—“We’ve decided,” “We feel,” “We need”—even if it was mostly me making the decision. It sounds united and less open for negotiation. I also found that text or email can be great for the more emotionally charged messages. It gives everyone space to breathe and prevents those in-the-moment hurt feelings that a phone call or face-to-face convo might trigger.

At the end of the day, remember this: the people who love you will adjust. The ones who don’t? Forget them! This is a time in your life where YOUR peace is the priority. You're growing the child, mama, and that baby feels all of your emotions. Your job is to raise your baby in the calmest, safest environment possible. So go ahead and draw your lines in the (soft, hormonal) sand. You're not being difficult. You're being a mama. And that, my love, is your superpower.